Squidging around on the floating reed islands 

After about an hour on the boat we arrived at the first of the reed-islands. Now, make no mistake here, these things are really weird. They are basically floating islands that are made by weaving layers and layers of reed together, and whole fishing families used to live on them in their little reed-houses and just float around the lake all the lives. Now, however, the islands are actually anchored, and although the original families still live on them, they've now realised that they can make far more money out of people like me, and whenever a tourist boat arrives, all the women sit in a line and try and sell you little pots and woven hats etc. Fair play.

We pulled up alongside one, and as I performed the rather daring jump from the boat onto the island, the reed squidged underneath my feet, and I felt like I was walking on water. We walked along the squashy ground, more impressed by this bizarre new sensation of feeling pissed while sober than we were with the various Peruvian nik-naks on sale.

There was a pervading smell as the lower layers of reed rotted away in the water, and here and there were areas where the ground was getting a little thin and obviously needed repairing. If you stood still in one place for too long you actually started to sink.

They even had a tiny reed hut which was apparently the "museum", and inside was a small and mangy, but kind of groovy collection of stuffed birds all with fixed expressions that made them look as though they'd died by having something rammed up their arses, which, in a way, they had.

We then all piled onto a little reed-boat with a rather frightening cat's-head shaped on the front of it, and one of the men from the island propelled us across to a neighbouring island with the aid of a big stick. The second island was pretty much the same as the last, and it was here that I suddenly realised that I would never be able to last until Tequile Island without first having a shit.

I stood for some time surveying the strange looking construction that was evidently the toilet, in some doubt as to whether I would be capable of negotiating it. It consisted of a small ladder leading up to a screened platform with a hole in the floor and a bucket underneath. Being considerably taller than your average Peruvian, it was going to mean standing with head and shoulders above the edge of the screen, in full view of everybody, and letting loose a poo that also fell through everyone's field of vision before finding its final resting place in the bucket below. However, it was another three hours to Tequile Island, and I hate to disappoint an audience at the best of times, so swallowing my pride, I ascended the ladder into the cubicle, dropped my shorts, and managed to push out a nice browner or two straight into the bucket despite a sudden fit of hysterics, and cries of "PUSH!" from everyone else.

I had readied myself for some interesting toilet experiences in this continent, and I felt that after this, I would able to shit anywhere.

Mark Burvill, UK - 09 June 2000

Copyright Mark Burvill. All rights reserved. Story reproduced with kind permission.

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